tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62997250782459171632024-03-19T04:26:33.546-07:00365 Loving Things365LovingThings is a simple, personal online journey of recognizing the “loving things” my wife does for me each day.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-19117016961708347482017-06-18T20:11:00.000-07:002019-09-28T11:44:38.379-07:00Ready to Eat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Jana and my Sunday was a little busy today. We left for church at 8:30 this morning. When we got out at noon I took Jana home then went to another ward or congregation to attend their meetings. In a church calling I have I am what is called a Stake Sunday School President now, meaning that I help oversee and encourage quality teaching in 10 different congregations. After our own church meetings I was visiting another ward with their Sunday School Presidents and teachers for two more hours of meetings.<br />
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When I finally got home at around 2:30 I went looking for Jana. I found her taking a nap in our guest bedroom. As I walked into the room she must have heard me come in as she opened her eyes and said, "I was waiting for you. Dinner is ready."<br />
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The table was already set and waiting. We had a lovely, simple dinner and just shared our church experiences of the day and what we learned, experienced, and enjoyed.<br />
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Having dinner ready was such a kind, <b>loving thing</b>. Jana knew roughly what time I'd be home from my meetings but even so I do have the capability to be a little late getting home if I find someone to talk to, an additional errand to run, or have someone I feel I need to drop by and visit on my way home. I so appreciate her love and patience.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-12422174734955504082014-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:002014-12-08T10:59:33.274-08:00Launchpad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As empty nesters my wife and I have created a predictable, functional morning routine that gets our day started. We begin by going to the local rec center bright and early to open the eyes and get the blood pumping. When we get home Jana showers while I read the scriptures. I then cook breakfast for us.<br />
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After our morning prayer we eat breakfast and read the scriptures together. She then heads for the bedroom to read the paper while I wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. Together we drive to her bus stop where she catches a commuter bus to work.<br />
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The other morning Jana, as she sat on the bus bench while I stood keeping an eye out for the bus, turned to me, pulled aside the hood of her pink winter coat with her bemittened hand and said, "I sure appreciate your driving me to the bus every morning. It just helps me start my day in a happy way. You're my launchpad. You launch me into my day."<br />
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What a sweet thing to say. That made me feel loved and appreciated. It motivates me to keep doing it, every day. It's little, unexpected <b>loving things</b> like that, unrequested and often undeserved, that make a marriage – and any valued relationship – one that encourages us to try a little harder to give a little more, to be a little more and to love a little more each day. I know it does for me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-47596492960774376622014-12-03T09:43:00.001-08:002014-12-03T09:52:13.580-08:00Ring My Chimes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We had our annual Christmas family night Monday with all the cousins in the area. There must have been over 50 of us, half under that age of 12 I'm sure. It's something we all look forward to each year. It was noisy and rowdy and fun and loud and endearing and a joy. It's one of those family traditions, started by my wife's parents many years ago, that keeps us close as an extended family.<br />
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Before the evening my dear sister-in-law, LD, had asked if I would lead the children in our traditional bell-ringing Christmas carols. LD has some colored bells and several years ago made color-coded Christmas carol charts that we can follow and play. It's one of the things we all look forward to and everyone, young and not, loves to have a turn.<br />
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The trick is to corral the youngest bell-carolers in learning how to ring the right-colored bell, at the right time, without pulling on the spring-suspended clappers and not just ringing them continuously. It's sort of like … well, … like giving a child a bell and telling her not to ring it.<br />
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We all had a grand, noisy time and, being that all the children, grandchildren and cousins are above average, they did an amazing job … and we even could hear bits of Christmas melodies ringing amidst the noise.<br />
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On the way home Jana and I were alone in the car. "That was fun. You did a really great job in controlling the kids and letting them have fun at the same time." I thanked her. It WAS fun.<br />
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After many years of marriage there is a tendency to become so comfortable with your spouse that you don't always acknowledge his or her efforts or deeds or actions (at least not the positive ones). It is no small thing to keep recognizing your spouse's contributions without keeping a "compliment score". I am so grateful for Jana's kindness in letting me know when I do things good – or do good things. It lifts my confidence and makes me even more appreciative of the many "<b>loving things</b>" she constantly does that keep our marriage growing. She rings my chimes.<br />
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(Thanks <a href="https://www.facebook.com/lexiewaitephotography" target="_blank">Lexie</a> for sharing the photos.) Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-49501600770255015532014-11-26T09:40:00.003-08:002014-12-08T11:10:03.101-08:00Water Closet Congregation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIUru8dDcu_rUwqlIIrrDP8PWJ5qjk2Ug4on15nqdAZdK39BMEPuJsZmzR_OAcnxzi2RFwFNLhwlVZlP3QJqwXqbNIUCIxclvRdzDdwnFVswXx7yfMgf_AS3aAlBgruQQi0XspzPcHqPo/s1600/141126-RecCenter-300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIUru8dDcu_rUwqlIIrrDP8PWJ5qjk2Ug4on15nqdAZdK39BMEPuJsZmzR_OAcnxzi2RFwFNLhwlVZlP3QJqwXqbNIUCIxclvRdzDdwnFVswXx7yfMgf_AS3aAlBgruQQi0XspzPcHqPo/s1600/141126-RecCenter-300.jpg" /></a></div>
Several months ago Jana's work schedule changed. With that change our morning routine changed as well. We get up a little before 5:00 and head to the Rec Center. There we work out and energize the start to our day. Jana generally walks the indoor track and I walk, workout in the weight room or ride a bike.<br />
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She usually finishes first and waits a few minutes for me to finish my last lap. But this morning when I walked off the track Jana was nowhere to be seen. I looked down the mezzanine that is suspended midway through the building above the gym floor on one side and the pools on the other, lined with every imaginable piece of cardiovascular equipment (and a few unimaginable ones), toward the bathroom end of the second floor. No Jana.<br />
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I asked a woman I know if she had seen my sweetheart. "I think I saw her on the track." I thought that was unusual but waited about three minutes to see if she would come 'round the bend. But she didn't.<br />
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I went downstairs to see if she was waiting there for me. No Jana.<br />
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I headed back up again and stood at one end of the mezzanine where, if she came out of hiding somewhere, she'd be sure to see me. I was a little worried, for two reasons. One, she is very predictable because after our workout she is anxious to get home and get ready for work. And two, she is very predictable.<br />
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I glanced over at the coat rack where we hang our coats and Jana's grey, oversized BYUI sweatshirt was hanging there. "Well, she's still in the building" I thought.<br />
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After another five minutes I finally saw her, coming out of the women's restroom at the opposite end of the mezzanine. I walked over and grabbed her sweatshirt so I could help her on with it and as I held it out so she could slip her arm in the sleeve I asked, "Are you all right?" thinking maybe she wasn't feeling well.<br />
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"Perfectly. I was just giving my Sunday School lesson in the loo. Oh, it's going to be such a good lesson."<br />
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"Oh, really?"<br />
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"Yes. I was all alone except for this other lady. I could have given it out loud because she had her hair dryer on and it was so loud you couldn't hear a thing."<br />
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Jana is a wonderful teacher. She currently teaches the Marriage and Family Relations class in our ward. I just love her unaffected, matter-of-fact approach to life, like "What's unusual about giving a lesson in the loo?" That's one of the <b>loving things</b> I appreciate about her.<br />
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And I'm sure Jana's water closet congregation really enjoyed the lesson as well.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-23240033389160998742013-04-15T10:11:00.002-07:002013-04-15T22:06:22.350-07:00CAUTION - Space Needed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCZR_guJtUEUpPE4RQQ-A9kJES7v8tj-gnPGAVjVOq5gexy_CzFGI9qkuo7rbHRfkPsIU7bkYzXus9hcJqQ9hQnuUVKaEiXxRTjwQn0ivFIC8m1D2uRqGNd17TA_Pi9mRWvoliWLmr_WA/s1600/130415-Washing-Dishes-39811537.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCZR_guJtUEUpPE4RQQ-A9kJES7v8tj-gnPGAVjVOq5gexy_CzFGI9qkuo7rbHRfkPsIU7bkYzXus9hcJqQ9hQnuUVKaEiXxRTjwQn0ivFIC8m1D2uRqGNd17TA_Pi9mRWvoliWLmr_WA/s1600/130415-Washing-Dishes-39811537.jpg" /></a></div>
My daughter's home from college for a quick week between semesters. It's always a joy to have her home and really catch up on her successes of the finished semester.<br />
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However, during this visit she needs some "get away" time; time to back off and catch some perspective on her personal life. She's had a relationship this semester that's been left a little in limbo that she needs some space to process.<br />
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After church today Jana invited a friend over who is particularly gifted at helping people gain perspective. Even though Jana and I have talked with our daughter over the phone over the past few weeks on the issue, and even though we had a good conversation together last night (at the moment she feels safe enough in our relationships to talk to us about these issues openly) Jana felt she needed another perspective to give her peace.<br />
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After dinner I was starting on the dishes (I still do dishes by hand, old school) and "the girls" had settled in the living room and were chatting. As I stood at the sink up to my elbows in Joy dish soap, Jana came in and gave me an unsolicited hug. That's always nice. Then she whispered, "We've got some girl talk going on."<br />
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To quote A. A. Milne in talking about Winnie the Pooh, "Being a bear of very little brain...", I thought for just a moment, then the light came on, "Oh, you'd like for me not to join you?"<br />
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"Yes," she replied lovingly.<br />
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I"m the kind of dad who, being interested in his kids lives, would have invited myself to join them after I finished the dishes -- "girl talk" doesn't frighten or bore me. But thanks to Jana's awareness and sensitivity, she quietly, discretely gave me a gentle suggestion that space was needed.<br />
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I consider it <i><b>a loving thing</b></i> when she just gently let me know what was needed. Otherwise I would have felt rejected and devalued for being left out or unwanted in this little piece of my daughter's life. I'm thankful for my wife's sensitive awareness. Now I can write it down and feel loved in the process.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-55686502599402502202012-11-11T22:01:00.000-08:002012-11-11T22:01:21.964-08:00Day 1 - International Culture Anniversary<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQ_Ytfo2a7oMWwSECBMBL3XBJI722d6U5IrSYNsuPiG3tQpOX20zyk3jWDMYW9W0OYfK-N0woTI4T8k-Ug53rorjnnfJMALH3Haed4mNFLF6qK6DddKMYYhIWhee6UgNvXVOlSUwbfyI/s1600/1-Warm-Springs-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQ_Ytfo2a7oMWwSECBMBL3XBJI722d6U5IrSYNsuPiG3tQpOX20zyk3jWDMYW9W0OYfK-N0woTI4T8k-Ug53rorjnnfJMALH3Haed4mNFLF6qK6DddKMYYhIWhee6UgNvXVOlSUwbfyI/s1600/1-Warm-Springs-4.jpg" /></a>Jana and I had a wonderful anniversary this year. We always do. It has become such a tradition among her colleagues where Jana works that they start asking what she's going to do for her anniversary starting in August. To which Jana replies, "I'm not telling ... until after the anniversary."<br />
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However, I do know that some of them sometimes get a little disappointed when they learn it isn't a wonderfully extravagant journey to someplace exotic. In fact, this year one of her coworkers asked, "Since you take turns each year don't you try to outdo each other?"<br />
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Her answer? "No. It's about the time together."<br />
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And that's the point. It's about taking a few days and isolating ourselves from the pressures and worries and interruptions and distractions that constantly pull at our relationship and just focus on being together, whether it's in Oceanside, Oregon, or Kuna, Idaho.<br />
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And this year was no different.<br />
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Jana came up with the theme of a Multi-Cultural Experience. <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2012/10/international-culture-anniversary.html">I shared in my last post</a> the letter I received Sunday evening. I knew no more about what we were going to be doing after I read the letter than I did before.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Day One of our Multi-Cultural Anniversary</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"The Culture of Old World Wealth"</i></b></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgolvuNnAtq7_sB5_9k4XDbQR3ocQIJZ80fgnsl6OhoWHs7p2IVDES67OD_XPoe5u-IfwjDFqjyksmPvBKBjaj9x6ioToUIS2maCwJXuYf7HMYO60UU6QlxCJAlkDxCQk_SRaePlkFXIxw/s1600/1-Warm-Springs-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgolvuNnAtq7_sB5_9k4XDbQR3ocQIJZ80fgnsl6OhoWHs7p2IVDES67OD_XPoe5u-IfwjDFqjyksmPvBKBjaj9x6ioToUIS2maCwJXuYf7HMYO60UU6QlxCJAlkDxCQk_SRaePlkFXIxw/s1600/1-Warm-Springs-1.jpg" /></a></div>
I had been told that we were leaving the house at 10:30 am. Jana had already gassed up the van and once I started up the car she said, "Head for the freeway toward Boise."<br />
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I followed directions until we ended up on Warm Springs Ave. We drove up the avenue to a grocery store where we pulled in. We went inside and I was told to buy some treats to keep up my energy. After we got our treats Jana said, "We've always driven up Warm Springs and commented that we'd sure like to someday look at the beautiful mansions. Well, today, we're taking a 'walking tour' of Warm Springs Ave."<br />
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Warm Springs is a well-known street in Boise where, a hundred-plus years ago, the affluent built beautiful homes: some very victorian, some more modern. We headed down Warm Springs just walking and looking at the beautiful homes, wandering up side streets – whatever looked interesting. We wandered about 3/4 of a mile, crossed the street and meandered back, taking it all in, talking about the houses, who would live there, what renovations were being made and how much we enjoyed being together.<br />
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After two hours we had made it back to our van and were ready for the next "culture".<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><i>"Oregon Coast Culture I"</i></span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgn__YQexxJoxogfC9Z5GN0wnIiskiV1MMoIvHwb2NIwMv9LfWJphjKeGGAiUv41GmLRbKt1hG2u9tYOlBBfH0yaYtM6dj8RNMH8EcHYKzJmy8J9sWjwocHcGoSui-1TGiCKD24rBCIY/s1600/2-Boise-Aquarium-14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfgn__YQexxJoxogfC9Z5GN0wnIiskiV1MMoIvHwb2NIwMv9LfWJphjKeGGAiUv41GmLRbKt1hG2u9tYOlBBfH0yaYtM6dj8RNMH8EcHYKzJmy8J9sWjwocHcGoSui-1TGiCKD24rBCIY/s1600/2-Boise-Aquarium-14.jpg" /></a>After leaving Warm Springs we headed back to town, got on the freeway and made our way to the Towne Square Mall. We didn't go to the mall, but wandered past it to an industrial/warehouse-looking building with several businesses occupying the space. However, one of the spaces was a little different than the rest of the warehouse occupants. The sign above the entrance read "Idaho Aquarium". I had seen the place before but always assumed, with the large pictures of fish on the wall, that it was a place that sold exotic fish to people with fish tanks. But no, it was an aquarium that displays sea-life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgqrrnrCKxP2tuUKF45ZQlHmGZixe1NaRnAXWoRHSY0ArGH5RqpPctBXwb-X3sCbYCdeuO_fk-g-dgiqpnFYLhS_X0C-qSoSJzd2b0mkwaqn8fKj-gtdHyqN0GmpAlEaSx5KvD0_S_fiA/s1600/2-Boise-Aquarium-9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgqrrnrCKxP2tuUKF45ZQlHmGZixe1NaRnAXWoRHSY0ArGH5RqpPctBXwb-X3sCbYCdeuO_fk-g-dgiqpnFYLhS_X0C-qSoSJzd2b0mkwaqn8fKj-gtdHyqN0GmpAlEaSx5KvD0_S_fiA/s1600/2-Boise-Aquarium-9.jpg" /></a>For a $7 donation we got to see and pet rays, baby sharks (including a hammerhead shark), eels, jellyfish, lionfish and other tropical fish. We got to stare down the free-range iguanas wandering about, laugh at the puffins and watch the chameleons change their colors.<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;">(<b>From Jana</b>: Here's the deal about the Idaho Aquarium. When you walk outside afterwards, you are still in Idaho. Bummer. It puts you in such a mood for the ocean and yet there you stand in the parking lot and nary a seagull to be found. Bummer again. It's sort of like bait & switch.) </span></i><br />
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Each year, during our anniversary, we buy a Christmas ornament for our hodge-podge of a Christmas tree. I found a small, round refrigerator magnet with a very small starfish on it that I'll drill a hole in, put a ribbon through and add to our collection this Christmas.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"Oregon Coast Culture II"</i></b></span><br />
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By now it was after 1:00 so we headed to "Oregon Coast Culture II", McGrath's Fish House. Jana had found a coupon for a reduced price on salmon dinners at McGrath's. However, when we went to order the waiter apologized that the special was over. They had a steak coupon now. So he gave us some more time to go back over the menu to pick our steak special.<br />
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Shortly he came running back, breathlessly saying, "Don't order. Don't order." He continued, "I talked to the kitchen and they said you can have the salmon specials, whichever one you want." And so we did.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>(</i><b style="font-style: italic;">From Jana</b><i>: I figured after looking </i><b>at</b><i> fish (aquarium), it was time to </i><b>eat</b><i> fish. (However, I draw the line at octopus. I don't like chewing tire tread.) The salmon & halibut at McGrath's was delicious.)</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"Indulge-Your-Wife Culture"</i></b></span><br />
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Next on our adventure was something just for Jana. She has been looking for a blue blazer to wear for her business wardrobe and had heard of a thrift shop that was supposed to be very good. Over the past two years Jana has learned to love consignment shopping and found that she can really stretch her dollar on buying clothes. We headed for the Boise Assistance League Thrift Shop near the Boise Fairgrounds. <br />
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I love shopping for clothes with Jana and picking things I think would look good for her. I take credit for finding the blazer and she ended up plunking down $8. We also looked at jewelry which she has gained more interest in since working.<br />
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Before moving on to our next "culture" we saw a consignment furniture store across the parking lot and found two recliners that tempted us sorely to adopt. But we withstood the temptation.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"The Sugar Culture"</i></b></span><br />
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Next to the thrift store was a bakery that Jana has heard about for years but has never gone to: Pastry Perfection. Walking in this store puts on 350 calories just smelling the air. We looked and smelled and looked some more, finally each choosing a confection to take with us.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"The Hipster Culture"</i></b></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQPHdL6-PWyQUJ6J6wZ7LBxONUtu3sV8id_wLtREChCz4Qu1hn5Hu0VgylMPvZUmkH0bgtiF_LE8NSHVSpzq1lRhLCsPWaOFjfwhNn07W1C9E5AHziLIJDnQQWATOxn3tG0G5k7xJgWU/s1600/3-Boise-Urban-Culture-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGQPHdL6-PWyQUJ6J6wZ7LBxONUtu3sV8id_wLtREChCz4Qu1hn5Hu0VgylMPvZUmkH0bgtiF_LE8NSHVSpzq1lRhLCsPWaOFjfwhNn07W1C9E5AHziLIJDnQQWATOxn3tG0G5k7xJgWU/s1600/3-Boise-Urban-Culture-1.jpg" /></a>Arielle introduced us to the "hipster culture" a couple years ago. The epicenter of the hipster haute couture in Boise is Urban Outfitters in downtown. We parked in a downtown parking garage and started walking downtown toward the 8th Street marketplace area. We had fun looking at downtown and the downtown dwellers as we meandered past the Boise Centre on the Grove and the Century Link Arena. What fun looping in and out of downtown book shops and clothing stores. We found a chocolate confectioner where we could have dropped $27 for 12 bite-sized pieces of chocolate, but we resisted. <br />
<br />
It was fun watching workers and a very tall crane building a large tower that will one day be the core of a new high rise building in downtown.<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><i>"Mediterranean Culture"</i></span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DCl4kbnX5z27ihVbtFpU4ccPAD4PZ06FE8YMFpbrt5hg-zJCXGujwhEdjQrPqrFBSs1x8Kl-N1vWV6VdQbRExA3gUkfK1XnyVoHTmlrny6OsXD0hpYRftPqjVLFz8v1kgbYdUwigFMU/s1600/4-Mazzah-Mediteranean-Culture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DCl4kbnX5z27ihVbtFpU4ccPAD4PZ06FE8YMFpbrt5hg-zJCXGujwhEdjQrPqrFBSs1x8Kl-N1vWV6VdQbRExA3gUkfK1XnyVoHTmlrny6OsXD0hpYRftPqjVLFz8v1kgbYdUwigFMU/s200/4-Mazzah-Mediteranean-Culture.jpg" width="149" /></a>It was now after 6:30 and time for our next cultural adventure. Jana directed me toward the Park Center area of East Boise, looking for an address. We finally found the address attached to a small, hidden eatery call the Mazzah Grill. This restaurant features Mediterranean cuisine with food samplings from Italy, Greece, Turkey, Syria and that region. Jana had, again, found this place online and read good reviews about it.<br />
<br />
I had a combo kabob plate including shish kabob, marinated chicken kabob and pork kabob with a Syrian fatoosh salad of tomatoes, cucumbers, onions and a dressing I've never tasted before. Yummy. Jana had the fatoosh salad with a Greek gyro sandwich. We took our time and just talked while we ate.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394; font-size: large;"><b><i>"International Culture"</i></b></span><br />
<br />
After dinner we had one more culture to experience before calling it a day. I was told it wasn't starting until 9:00 pm and it was only 7:50 as we left the restaurant. We headed for home for an hour where I took a 45 minute snooze and then out the door we went.<br />
<br />
For our international culture we headed for the Edwards movie theater. Since it was a little later on a Monday evening there wasn't really a line at the window where Jana purchased two tickets to see the "Bourne Legacy". I happen to like the suspense of the the Bourne movie trilogy so Jana took us for this international ride: international because the movie storyline takes you across the globe.<br />
<br />
Jana did an amazing job in arranging this evening. When we walked into our theater we were the only two people there. We had the whole movie to ourselves. When we finally got out at nearly midnight we walked out of our theater into the common halls of this 14 theater complex and there wasn't another person in the building. We didn't even see an employee as we walked through theater, past the snack bar and through the main lobby. Jana had the whole movie theater opened just for us. How do you top that?<br />
<br />
<br />
We dragged ourselves home and collapsed into bed. Jana had told me the day before when she first delivered the letter to me about our anniversary plan that we were going to experience things we had never experienced before. So far she was living up to her promise. We just had so much fun on Day One exploring new things close to home and mostly just walking and talking together.<br />
<br />
Day One had truly been a <i>loving thing</i>. Now, on to Day Two.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-21474135813921653982012-10-07T20:42:00.000-07:002012-10-07T20:42:44.563-07:00International Culture Anniversary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9i9N8SMbsn58_tncmeKb1CF9XLTeG5d6JKZ2tY5fnM1xIYZgsX-bHHoFBEtkhSn1ATGbI28eT9WuTy84V1uPdonVfsdgmMQ84LIKlU9yrynRWAizlNx1udC-R42-kUfj1h87dXXTuSc/s1600/Kevin&Jana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm9i9N8SMbsn58_tncmeKb1CF9XLTeG5d6JKZ2tY5fnM1xIYZgsX-bHHoFBEtkhSn1ATGbI28eT9WuTy84V1uPdonVfsdgmMQ84LIKlU9yrynRWAizlNx1udC-R42-kUfj1h87dXXTuSc/s1600/Kevin&Jana.jpg" /></a></div>
Several weeks ago we were sitting around the breakfast table at 5:30 am when Jana commented she was tired.<br />
<br />
"How come?"<br />
<br />
"Because I didn't sleep much last night?"<br />
<br />
"Why? Weren't you feeling well?"<br />
<br />
"No. I was planning our anniversary. Oh, we're going to have so much fun. I can hardly wait."<br />
<br />
I think I've mentioned it before but Jana and I have an anniversary tradition. It started clear back when we'd been married for 9 years. When Jana and I were married we were married in Salt Lake City, Utah. For our wedding night I had arranged for a room in the Tura Mura Lodge at the Snowbird ski resort nearby in the mountains east of Salt Lake. I had made the arrangement without Jana's knowledge and our wedding night location was a big surprise to her.<br />
<br />
For our 9 year anniversary I decided to take her back, again, without her knowing it. One Friday morning in October we got up, had our school day morning routines and went out on the porch to see Aaron off to school on his bike. As he left he said, "See you later, Mom ... much later." To which we waved him goodbye.<br />
<br />
As soon as he was out of sight I turned to Jana. "Sweetheart, get in the car."<br />
<br />
"But I'm not dressed." (She was wearing her long flannel night gown.)<br />
<br />
"Doesn't matter. Get in the car anyway."<br />
<br />
We put three year old Chanel in the car, got in and left. We went to Jana's sister's home here in town to drop off Chanel, complete with a prepacked suitcase, and headed for the freeway. Forty five minutes later, after we had passed Boise and were well on our way to Mountain Home, Jana asked, "Where ARE we going?"<br />
<br />
To which I replied, "Happy Annivesary!"<br />
<br />
"But I don't have any clothes!"<br />
<br />
"Don't worry. They're in the trunk."<br />
<br />
We had a wonderful time for three days. And it was so fun, surprising her all over again. On our way home she said, "Next year, I'm in charge of our anniversary." And so a tradition started.<br />
<br />
The rules are simple:<br />
<ul>
<li>This is alone time. No distractions from work or other events.</li>
<li>Be fully engaged in our time together.</li>
<li>It must be planned -- no "let's just see what happens" excuse for not putting forth the effort to plan. </li>
<li>Take turns being totally in charge ( I get odd years, Jana gets even).</li>
<li>Keep the event a complete secret as to what's planned, from your spouse or anyone else.</li>
<li>Tease your spouse starting months ahead about how much fun we'll have together. (Such as "I just made our reservations for our anniversary!! And you don't know what we're doing.")</li>
</ul>
<br />
I could spend a year talking about all the adventures we've had on these anniversaries –– like the year we spent four days in a barn loft in Inkom, Idaho; or the senior citizens bus trip to Baker City, Oregon; or the four days at the May Family Ranch on the Salmon River, halfway between Stanley and Salmon, Idaho; or the week at Otter Rock on the Oregon Coast. Our adventures could fill a year's worth of blog posts, but that's not the point of this post.<br />
<br />
If you ask Jana what her favorite holiday is, she won't tell you Christmas or the Fourth of July. She'll say, "Our wedding anniversary."<br />
<br />
So this year is our 36th anniversary and, being an even year, it's Jana's turn. She had me block out this next week a couple months ago. A week ago she said, "Sunday, night we need to have an anniversary meeting." So, tonight I've been looking forward to our "meeting".<br />
<br />
I sat down on the couch. Arielle, living at home right now between college semesters, was here too. Jana handed me a blank envelope, then sat back and smiled. The note read:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>2012 Wedding Anniversary</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Number 36</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Prepare for fun!</b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Multi-Cultural Experience</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<b>Monday</b> (leave 10:30 am-ish)<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>The Culture of Old World Wealth</li>
<li>Indulge-your-Wife Culture (always a good thing)</li>
<li>The Sugar Culture</li>
<li>Oregon Coast Culture I</li>
<li>Oregon Coast Culture II</li>
<li>Hipster Culture</li>
<li>French Culture</li>
<li>International Culture (all over the map)</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>Tuesday</b> (leave same time as yesterday)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
This day has a special rule: NO matter what happens, the computer and your office are off-limits to you!!! [Note: I work at home and my office is in my home.]<br />
<br />
Today we will do our food storage shopping at the Winco on Fairview Ave. Why there? Because it's kitty-korner from a restaurant I want to try.<br />
<br />
After shopping, lunch, putting away food, the rest of the day is free for special projects. (How about you paint? [I'm currently in the process of painting our home] And I will sew.)</blockquote>
<br />
<b>Wednesday</b> (leave same as before)<br />
<ul>
<li>Ancient History Culture</li>
<li>Redneck Culture</li>
<li>Jewish Culture</li>
<li>Latin Culture</li>
<li>Idaho History Culture</li>
<li>Mediterranean Culture</li>
<li>Indian Culture (as in Calcutta)</li>
</ul>
<br />
We will be very cultured after this anniversary. Almost like world travelers at a fraction of the cost.</blockquote>
<br />
As of tonight, that's what I know. This post will need to continue tomorrow as the mystery anniversary unfolds. For me, anniversaries and surprises are <b>loving things</b>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-48200362861130782532011-02-01T06:42:00.000-08:002011-02-01T10:54:01.174-08:00Whited Sepulcher<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPpLdw8Uhb8Iq_LGb_d0-c7s2h4H9Ke8I5JQvbkVqfvr7oSAB8qikp0M6IKkTQFleiQLAISBMwscj7IgLLWQBVfRoK91YSO76YgiXD72DRZfffDaum8U5mlf4g9YQ3CXilg-ON-mj0UU/s1600/110201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPpLdw8Uhb8Iq_LGb_d0-c7s2h4H9Ke8I5JQvbkVqfvr7oSAB8qikp0M6IKkTQFleiQLAISBMwscj7IgLLWQBVfRoK91YSO76YgiXD72DRZfffDaum8U5mlf4g9YQ3CXilg-ON-mj0UU/s1600/110201.jpg" /></a></div>Jana just came in to give me a kiss goodbye as she heads for work.<br />
<br />
We have a rule in our marriage. Not really a rule, a tradition, really. No, on second thought, it's a rule. "The last one up makes the bed." Most of the time that's Jana but today it was me.<br />
<br />
As she kissed me goodbye this morning she said with a smile, "You made the bed like a 'whited sepulcher'."<br />
<br />
Me: blank stare.<br />
<br />
Then I finally got it. "Oh, was the sheet under the bedspread wrinkled?"<br />
<br />
"More like wadded up." Giggle.<br />
<br />
<i> I love Jana's lilting giggle. Her gentle teasing keeps me grounded. That's a <b>loving thing</b>, by the way.</i><br />
<br />
Well, I'd better go remake the bed. <br />
<br />
<i>PS Actually the kitty likes a lumpy bed. She can find fluffy places. </i><br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-39122162545656882722011-01-28T07:39:00.000-08:002011-02-01T06:50:20.647-08:00Heart Soap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMO59O09zBw90sblatKyDKFzFK_nbXzMliUq9pvJ5MPK5g5PwK3IxDliZopDAPvYRelU88u_k5bmoU6X3S5oljcxQCliqa1BWqgBSusSGtfUGuxOP1PByyKBUfrpv_YLrAXEm5jl22Ov4/s1600/110128-soap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMO59O09zBw90sblatKyDKFzFK_nbXzMliUq9pvJ5MPK5g5PwK3IxDliZopDAPvYRelU88u_k5bmoU6X3S5oljcxQCliqa1BWqgBSusSGtfUGuxOP1PByyKBUfrpv_YLrAXEm5jl22Ov4/s1600/110128-soap.jpg" /></a></div><i>It's been a long time since I've posted my Loving Things. Life happens. Concerns drain emotions.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>I don't apologize for my absence. I only regret. Regret so many Loving Things that have gone unnoticed, unacknowledged, unappreciated. But today I notice. And then, perhaps, again tomorrow. And if I string enough appreciative todays together, I know it will make a difference and my life will continue to grow richer.</i><br />
<br />
I just got out of the shower. I use "shower gloves" when I shower. When visiting my sister a few years ago she had some hanging in her shower. I thought, "Hey, here is a thing I never new existed. I wonder what it's like."<br />
<br />
So I tried them. Hey, she's my sister.<br />
<br />
They were rough and invigorating and I felt like they were scrubbing away the dead cells and grime. Plus it was so much easier than fumbling with a washcloth. When I got back home to Idaho I bought my own, at Walmart. I stuck a couple pieces of the prickly side of adhesive-backed velcro on my shower wall and there they hang, ready to invigorate my morning.<br />
<br />
While showering I reached for the soap and noticed it was about done for. Often I have come to that same realization, thinking, "I'd better throw that away and put a new bar in the shower so Jana doesn't have to step out of the shower, dripping wet, to get a new one." But being a man of very limited retention, I generally forget.<br />
<br />
So today I thought, "I've just got to remember this." So, using a mind trick I use not often enough, I projected forward and pictured myself getting out of the shower and, after drying off and before grabbing my undiewear, reaching for a piece of toilet paper, opening the shower door, grabbing the slippery fragment, throwing it away, opening the cupboard where we keep the new bars, unwrapping it and placing it on the soap ledge. I then intentionally cemented it to my mind, on purpose, then finished my wash-glove scrub.<br />
<br />
Sure enough, my mind trick worked, as it usually does when I take the time to do it.<br />
<br />
But as I was placing the fresh bar of soap on the soap ledge I thought, "You know, there is <i>always</i> a fresh bar in the cupboard. <i>Always.</i> Somehow Jana always has a fresh bar of soap, an extra bottle of shampoo, a stack of toilet paper, an unopened roll of paper towels under the kitchen sink, a new box of butter in the fridge, a fresh loaf of bread when the old one is finished. <i>Always.</i><br />
<br />
How magical is that. It reminds me of my <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-have-magic-drawer.html">magic undiewear drawer</a>.<br />
<br />
If I were to have to live alone, how many times would I have to step out of the shower naked and wet, trapse across the bathroom leaving wet footprints and realize I need to buy soap before finally adding it to my shopping list.<br />
<br />
<i>I'm so grateful to Jana for her competent care in the hundreds of tiny tasks that are required to keep our home running smoothly. That is truly a competent thing. That is truly a <b>loving thing</b>.</i><br />
<br />
And for once Jana has a fresh bar of soap for the morning.<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-16249688029887657242010-08-23T20:59:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:13:14.405-07:00Stir Fry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Sundays are fairly busy for me. I generally leave the house at about 7:30am and make it home around 6:00, except every other week when we have an evening fireside after church that allows me to fly by and pick up Jana enroute to the fireside. On those Sundays we get home at around 9:00.<br />
<br />
But it's such a joy and rather than feeling tired I feel energized and generally come home feeling happy and satisfied. There's nothing more fun than spending the day with the young people of my congregation, people who are trying to live good: contributing lives; striving to make good choices; looking to find a place where they can make a difference in the world. What could be more energizing than that? The maturity and inquisitiveness of their thoughts constantly inspire me to want to be better. I often tell them, "I want to be like you when I grow up." They are just so easy to love.<br />
<br />
For example, I had a young man inspire me with a powerful lesson Sunday. I've mentioned that my reason for writing this blog is to capture the many loving things that my wife does for me so that they don't slip away unnoticed. It opens my eyes and focuses my attention so I'm, hopefully, better tuned in. However, as I visited with this young man yesterday he commented, "Bishop, I try to notice five times every day when the Holy Spirit touches me or prompts me to act. Then I write them down in my journal in the evening so I can remember how blessed I am."<br />
<br />
How can I help but come away feeling inspired and determined to do even better each day when I get that kind of motivation.<br />
<br />
Back to my point.<br />
<br />
I woke Jana at 7:30 yesterday, had a prayer with her and kissed her goodbye before leaving the house. I saw her during our Sunday School time at 2:30 and gave her a hug. After church, as she was leaving, she asked what time I'd be home. Based on my interview schedule I told her I should be home by 6:00.<br />
<br />
My last interview started at 5:30 with a young man who is new to the area. We had a delightful visit and talked about some things that were important to him. I could have cut it short but I chose to let our conversation continue as I got to know more about him, his situation and his desires in life. He left at 6:30 and I felt good for the time we had spent together.<br />
<br />
Before leaving I called Jana to let her know where I was and that I would be home in about 15 minutes. I took some time to review the day and make notes of what I need to follow up on this week to attempt to keep things from falling through the cracks. (You know, they seem to be making cracks wider lately.) I was the last person leaving the building so I did a tour around the building to make sure lights were out and doors were locked. The point is that I didn't make it home until 7:00 and was feeling self-conscious about not being home on time.<br />
<br />
I found Jana in the bedroom in the "reading chair" reading her journal. She's updating her life's timeline for the past three years. I came in and told her I was home and peripherally asked about her day. I then said I was going to go fix something for dinner. Jana responded,<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I've already got a stir fry ready to cook so let me get started."</blockquote><br />
Jana got up and headed for the kitchen. I headed for the closet to take off my jacket and tie. I then joined her in the kitchen. When I got there she had the ingredients for stir fry already cut up and measured in small containers and the pan was heating up. I jumped up on the counter so we could just talk while she cooked.<br />
<br />
It was fun just talking and sharing the spoils of our day. Jana talked about a new young woman she had met that I had missed. It's really good to have her there with me because, as I've mentioned several time before, she is really good about visiting with people and drawing them out. I shared a couple things I had learned and observed that day. We just had a good visit.<br />
<br />
The stir fry was done quite soon and we continued our conversation over dinner. Jana never mentioned my tardiness, although she had every right to. She didn't even show any disappointment or disapproval, although I somewhat expected it.<br />
<br />
I don't want to take advantage of Jana's patience and kindness. It is a sweet and selfless gift, a truly <i><b>loving thing</b></i>. As a chicken farmer's daughter she was raised around a set schedule for mealtimes that carried over into our home. Our family rule is that dinner is at 6:00 and if you're late (that too often meant me) you'll have to eat it cold. I do not complain of that family tradition. It has been one of the things that has created a stable and predictable home environment for us all. <i>But I am so grateful for the kind and<b> loving thing</b> that Jana shared in getting up and fixing dinner when I finally came home and for the refreshing "talking time" as I sat on the counter and she stirred.</i><br />
<br />
I'll be home by 6:00 next week.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-2522215929971498552010-08-03T21:33:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:12:14.765-07:00A Loving Detour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Jana and I are different.<br />
<br />
When we got married we thought we knew this but it came into sharp focus on our honeymoon.<br />
<br />
After our Thursday wedding Jana and I had our first reception on Saturday in Idaho. The next day we headed on our honeymoon, down to Oakland, California, then, after seeing a few sights, off to the Pacific Coast Highway, the famed California Route 1.<br />
<br />
We entered the PCH just south of San Jose, where we had toured the infamous Winchester Mystery House. We drove for a time and just at dusk we pulled off the highway into the beautiful Big Sur campground where I pitched our romantic little two-person backpacking tent by the light of our Chevy Malibu's headlights.<br />
<br />
The next morning we headed south. It was a breathtaking drive where pine-draped mountains plunged into the arguing blue-green pacific ocean. It seemed that just when you thought you had seen the most beautiful view imaginable, just around the bend (and there were plenty of those) was an even more photogenic vista.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>My right brain was awash with wonder and I think I must have pulled off at nearly every turnout on the windy way. I kept commenting to my lovely, blushing bride the wonders of the scene and assumed her growing silence signaled her wordless wonder.<br />
<br />
One noteworthy fact about this stretch of the highway is that once you are committed to the road there is no turning back. There are no turnoffs or alternate routes, no shortened bypasses and no destinations other than the road itself.<br />
<br />
Finally, after nearly 300 winding, up-and-down, looking-over-the-edge, stopping-at-every-turnout mile we came to the first turnoff of the road at San Simeon and the Hearst Castle. I pulled into a parking area and said, "Sweetheart, let's go take a look." It was here, on our honeymoon, in a parking lot on the Pacific Coast Highway, that I learned of another valuable difference in our natures. And that is <b><i>the purpose of a road</i></b>.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>To me a road was a path to adventure and discovery ... something to be explored and savored.<br />
<br />
To Jana a road was simply a way to get from one place to another ... preferably the most direct route between two geolocations.</blockquote><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>And so I learned, compelled to be content to look at the opulent newspaper tycoon's monument to excess through the quarter-fed telescope in the parking lot, before jumping into the car without another stop between there and my parent's home some five hours later.<br />
<br />
This weekend Jana and I enjoyed a wonderful trip to Utah for my family's annual reunion up Spanish Fork Canyon. We left after work Thursday, just the two of us since our girls couldn't get off work. What a wonderful and fun time we had catching up with nearly 200 family members we see all to infrequently. As we headed home Monday we had a delightful book that Jana read to me as we drove and talked our way home. The only stop we made was a potty stop between Snowville and Sweetzer Summit.<br />
<br />
As we neared Boise I noticed that the time was 7:00 pm – the time Chanel, my oldest daughter, gets off work and heads for home. I thought it would be nice to stop in and say "Hi", tell her about our adventurous weekend and make yet one more lifebond in our family tapestry. But the lesson I had learned these nearly 34 years ago has become so deeply ingrained that I debated for 3 miles whether I dared ask Jana if she would mind our stopping when we were nearly in view or our journey's destination.<br />
<br />
Finally I dared.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><i>"Jana, would it be all right if we pulled off and visited Chanel for a few minutes, since we're so close?"</i></blockquote><br />
(Breath held.)<br />
<br />
<blockquote><i>"Sure."</i></blockquote><br />
So I called Chanel, caught her enroute home from work and asked if we could stop by and see her on our way home.<br />
<br />
<i><b>Loving things</b> are often the personal preferences we choose to yield as we learn to live and love together. On the surface they may seem small, almost insignificant, but those small compromises of preference, whether freely offered or patiently proffered, should not be taken for granted, but acknowledged and valued for the loving gifts they are.</i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-22767240945589076112010-07-14T21:40:00.000-07:002010-07-14T21:44:59.404-07:00To Be Where You Are<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJc3ae5RU6_0f1keCcVCb54jrZE_4t0hafDIhhBAWEoDLzXlB7LEF34YLZTMHrpk5w32yiC8z1xcg1CNvNkXPsiF5LbRZKdknvvj_HfkOJCKAoK7psMO-nt1_wR3gRFqd18PR6AonYYwY/s1600/SleepingJana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJc3ae5RU6_0f1keCcVCb54jrZE_4t0hafDIhhBAWEoDLzXlB7LEF34YLZTMHrpk5w32yiC8z1xcg1CNvNkXPsiF5LbRZKdknvvj_HfkOJCKAoK7psMO-nt1_wR3gRFqd18PR6AonYYwY/s320/SleepingJana.jpg" /></a></div>Jana generally gets home from work shortly after 4:00. Just before 4:00 I had slipped out to run an errand. When I pulled into the driveway the humpbacked van was securely parked, signaling Jana was home.<br />
<br />
I called to her as I walked in the door but soon heard the bathroom fan indicating she was beyond hearing range so I sat back down at the computer in my office and went back to work.<br />
<br />
Before long Jana came into the office and said, "Hello" in her after-work-and-I'm-happy-to-start-the-best-part-of-my-day voice. She then just sat down on the white leather couch that sits in front of my work desk, laid down, shifted slightly and closed her eyes to take a nap.<br />
<br />
<i>It was just nice and made me feel warm knowing she just wanted to be in the same room with me. I was working and not really conversant and she just wanted to take an afterwork nap. But just being near can be a comfortable <b>loving thing</b>, with Jana curled up on the office couch</i> saying, without speaking a word, "It's nice just to be where you are."<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-24224908736083341472010-06-28T21:35:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:10:36.080-07:00You Would've Loved It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>The company where Jana works was recently sold to another hospital organization and as the companies merge their billing offices perhaps only 1/3 of the current jobs will be available. This leaves an office with a lot of anxiety clouding the air.<br />
<br />
The original company, however, is trying to help it's outgoing employees as much as possible, including bringing in special services to help with resume writing, dealing with change and other helpful support. They really are trying to ease the transition.<br />
<br />
The other day Jana came bubbling home from work. As she danced through the door she called, <i>"I wish you could've been with me today!"</i><br />
<br />
They had a woman come in from a consulting company to talk about resume's, how to write them, what companies are looking for and how to prepare for interviews.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"You would've loved the presenter. She was so polished, had good stories to illustrate her points, was dynamic and really had the audience in her hands."</blockquote><br />
Jana's college degree is in speech communications and she is a very practiced public speaker. Because she is good she is also very aware of other speakers. Over the years I have also enjoyed the good fortune to speak in business presentations, seminars, staff training and keynotes as well as in church speaking opportunities. Our conversations after presentations are centered around elements in our speeches that worked, audience response, the impact of stories, responses to questions and so forth. I have learned so much from Jana over the years as she is free and yet kind with her feedback on my presentations and is attentive and appreciative with my observations for hers.<br />
<br />
Jana also knows that I am always interested, as she is, in watching and listening to other speakers and learning from them. When she burst through the door and said, "I wish you could've been with me today!", she was sharing an exciting and common interest – something she knew we'd both love: a presenter who knew how to move an audience.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"The whole time I was thinking, 'Oh, I wish Kevin could be here. He'd love watching this woman'."</blockquote><br />
<i>The <b>loving thing</b> was in her wanting to share an experience with me and thinking about me as she enjoyed it. It's the idea of being thought about warmly when you're apart, and then not being able to come home fast enough to share it. </i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span><i> </i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-21200627391526307512010-06-04T21:43:00.000-07:002010-06-04T22:19:32.987-07:00"I Have So Much to Talk About"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW56-xO45VAqHRAsEnskQji4ugKeMl3AAxPI8VeXpaOtwezxsqGVWFUjtMwm-YLYILsuIZSo8VC_uXBceSFuXSbORkTU8JYrIgVdfG-o_rcNXuwA4noCihcTWq2wrKTfJof8wOKylbyeA/s1600/arielleonbeach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW56-xO45VAqHRAsEnskQji4ugKeMl3AAxPI8VeXpaOtwezxsqGVWFUjtMwm-YLYILsuIZSo8VC_uXBceSFuXSbORkTU8JYrIgVdfG-o_rcNXuwA4noCihcTWq2wrKTfJof8wOKylbyeA/s320/arielleonbeach.jpg" /></a></div>Jana always seems to come home from work happy. This is especially true on Friday.<br />
<br />
I had sent her an email at work at 3:50pm, just ten minutes before she was to get off work.<br />
<blockquote>Would you like to go to a movie with me at 7:00 tonight?<br />
<br />
Mystery Date</blockquote>When she walked in the door she declared,<br />
<blockquote>YES! I'd love to go out!</blockquote>When we climbed into the van to head out for a cheap dinner before the movie she effused,<br />
<blockquote>I have so much to talk about. I can hardly wait!</blockquote>We got to Chicago Connection and ordered our salad bar dinners and she almost exploded,<br />
<blockquote>Can I tell you about my day?</blockquote>She had a great day at work and was able to get resolutions on several large hospital insurance accounts that she has been dogging down for two and three months. This was a major victory and she was excited and proud about it, and rightfully so.<br />
<br />
She then brought along some papers and announced,<br />
<blockquote>These are the finalists in my hunt for an Oregon Coast rental house for our anniversary in October. Read them and tell me what you think.</blockquote>I read through them and commented on them as I did. We then discussed the pros and cons and narrowed the choice down to two properties in Otter Bay, north of Newport. She then jumped in,<br />
<blockquote>Can I go ahead and make a decision? </blockquote>Jana loves to have something to look forward to. I found last weekend as we listened to a set of tapes called "Light His Fire" that women in general always need something to look forward to; it makes the minor inconveniences and trials of daily life more bearable. I have learned how important it is to her so I try to encourage it. Besides, it's fun for me too.<br />
<br />
<i>One of the things I love about Jana is her optimism, joy and excitement for life ... especially for experiences ... and especially for experiences with me. It's so fun to hear the excitement in her voice and see her eyes flash. What a <b>loving thing</b>. Am I smart or what in choosing Jana?</i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-13845381870105820722010-05-15T23:18:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:09:10.574-07:00Slumber Party<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>This weekend was my slumber party weekend with my daughter. I had mentioned it to client on the East Coast yesterday.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>I'm having a slumber party this weekend with my 28 year old daughter. What are you doing this weekend?</blockquote><br />
I received a reply.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>When I first read your email I read "slumber party" and then saw "28". My first thoughts were, "28 girls at a slumber party"? Then I reread it. I'm headed to Nashville for the weekend. Enjoy your weekend with your daughter.</blockquote><br />
The main feature of our agenda for the weekend was to watch the new BBC production of Jane Austen's "Emma". We went to Albertson's to pick up some dinner food, had dinner and watched "Star Trek". We finally were ready to begin watching Emma at 1:30 am. We watched the first hour of the four hour epoch before turning in. I love Chanel's little apartment.<br />
<br />
Today, after a leisurely morning and a more than late breakfast we watched the other three hours of "Emma". I quite enjoy Jane Austen and the view of the era she creates.<br />
<br />
After stopping at the home of a workmate of Chanel's for an open house for her husband who just graduated from BSU, we finally arrived home at about 7:30 this evening. Jana was her animated and joyful self. She actually came outside to welcome me home as I brought in my overnight gear. (Jana always chides me for taking more than I need when I go overnight anywhere.)<br />
<br />
<i>I love coming home to Jana. Her smile and constantly cheerful disposition is a <b>loving thing</b>. By nature she's a happy person. She makes our home a loving place. </i><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-87094670588676753732010-04-29T13:22:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:08:06.793-07:00After the 'Thank You'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Last night was a late night. I stayed up until after 2:00 trying to finish a project I've been working on for a couple weeks that I just needed to get out. After having been up until 2:30 the night before I was a worn out when I dragged myself to bed.<br />
<br />
This morning I never heard Jana get up, shower or get ready for work. We always have breakfast together but this morning I slept right through it.<br />
<br />
When I finally awoke she was already gone to work. I got up, said, "Forget the Rec Center", showered, had breakfast and went to work. My first item of business? Send Jana an email:<br />
<br />
<blockquote><i>Sorry I missed you this morning. But I did get the booklet finished at 2 this morning. Anyway, I love you. <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2009/12/unexpected-lunch-date.html">Can I join you for lunch?</a> Kevin</i></blockquote><br />
Her reply?<br />
<blockquote><i>Yes, I would love that. </i></blockquote><br />
When my alarm went off (I have to set a computer alarm to catch my attention when I have an appointment, otherwise I get busy and time just ceases to exist) I fixed my lunch and headed for the hospital where Jana works.<br />
<br />
I walked in her door just as she was walking out. We headed for the hospital cafeteria. We just chatted about what we had each been doing this morning and why a check in the <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2009/12/having-been-self-employed-for-26-years.html">checkbook</a> had been <i>added</i> to the checking balance rather than being <i>subtracted</i> (creating a $400 unexpected shortage) and confirming that it had been fixed.<br />
<br />
All too soon <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2010/02/half-hours-strung-together.html">the half hour was over</a> and it was time to walk back to the outside building where Jana's office is. As I walked her to the door she said,<br />
<br />
<blockquote><i>Thank you for coming for lunch. It really means a lot.</i></blockquote><br />
With that loving comment I was transported back 33 years to the conclusion of our first date. I was a green returned missionary, still very uncomfortable with dating. Jana was a recent college graduate in her first career job. I felt so young by comparison and figured she was so worldly wise.<br />
<br />
I was especially concerned about walking her to her apartment door after our date, figuring she was so experienced in the ways of romantic protocol. <i>Do I kiss her</i> (on the first date)<i>? Do I just say "Thank you for a wonderful evening?" Do I shake her hand</i> (with which I was the most comfortable after two years as a missionary, keeping young women at arms length)<i>?</i><br />
<br />
Additionally, <i>was there the prospect of a second date? </i> I liked her and definitely wanted another date. But how would I know if <i>she</i> did? Like many men, my confidence when it came to relationships, was a bit fragile. It had taken four explicit encouragements from friends the night before to finally get me to risk actually calling her and asking her out, even though I had been looking for signs that she might be interested for nearly two months. <br />
<br />
Jana eased the tension and reinforced my confidence.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><i>Thank you for a wonderful evening. Will you ask me out again?</i></blockquote><br />
There are those that might scoff at this whole dilemma and my need for reassurance. But Jana's inspired "Will you ask me out again?" answered all my unasked questions. It was the question that would determine our combined future.<br />
<br />
<i>As I left her at the office door this afternoon, it was, once again, the underscoring assertion <b>after</b> the "thank you" – the added "it really means a lot" – that gave meaning to the message. The truly <b>loving thing</b> when expressing gratitude just may be the underscoring assertion <b>after</b> the "thank you", for </i>that <i>is the thing that will be remembered and that just may make all the difference.</i><br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span><i> </i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-8123890114459954292010-04-27T21:49:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:07:09.698-07:00Smells Like BruschettaEach Monday evening we have a get together called Family Home Evening with the members of our church congregation or ward. We usually have about 30+ young single adults there. On the fourth Monday we have a dinner. Each month the group in charge of the dinner picks a theme and with the creativity and energy of the young adults of our ward you can be assured that no two potluck dishes will be the same.<br />
<br />
This month the theme was "Euro-dishes": some dish inspired by European cuisine. Jana really got into it this week and did some online searching for inspiration. Her criteria: simple, as in able to be whipped together in 30 minutes or less because she gets home from work at about 5:30 and the dinner was to start at 6:30.<br />
<br />
She found a recipe for Bruschetta. On the way home from the Rec Center after work she stopped at Walmart and picked up some prebaked french bread and other ingredients: two flavors of cream cheese, deli sliced roast beef, fresh Roma tomatoes and fresh green onion.<br />
<br />
She painted each side of the sliced (yes, to save time she even found presliced french bread) bread with olive oil and baked them. When toasted she pulled them out of the oven and let them cool for a few minutes so they wouldn't melt the cream cheese. She then employed me to help dress the bruschetta.<br />
<br />
It was quite fun and the finished result looked every bit as appetizing as the full colored pictures online.<br />
<br />
For my part I cooked some bacon, sauteed some diced onions then added whole green beans and stir-fried them, adding peanuts and a "savory blend of spices". We then headed for dinner.<br />
<br />
<i>The <b>loving thing</b> was just the fun of creating something together and laughing and joking while exercising our culinary inspirations. Jana likes to say she doesn't enjoy cooking but it's fun watching her, in her most pragmatic way, create something fun and different than the normal fare. </i><br />
<br />
One of the things that originally drew me to Jana was that, when we first met and worked together on that play so many years ago, I could see that we really worked well together when confronting a common project – in that case, the play. It is still true. We do work well together and it's fun doing simple, out of the routine things that allow us to add a dash of creativity and a dollop of fun to the recipe.<br />
<br />
I think <b>loving things</b> smell surprisingly like Italian bruschetta.<br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-71941366907040415592010-04-23T21:24:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:06:20.287-07:00Toe Tap<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>What a great week last week was. Arielle, our college daughter, had completed her first semester of college and was home for a week. Well, four days anyway. She actually stayed the first 5 days with her sister in her apartment. They had a great time together.<br />
<br />
This past Monday I loaded up Arielle's freshly cleaned laundry, a case of plastic water bottles refilled with "home water" (she doesn't like the tap water in Rexburg) and a couple boxes of groceries. We also packed up a young woman who has been in our ward for the past 4 months between semesters. We then headed back for the Spring semester in Rexburg. She had just one week between semesters.<br />
<br />
We got to Boise, about a half hour from home, when Arielle realized she had forgotten the storage tub of flour she was going to take with her. She learned how to bake bread last Fall and while at school bakes bread every other week. She does this on Sunday and the first loaf, hot out of the oven, is dedicated to the roommates and they have fresh, hot bread for dinner. The other two loaves last her two weeks, until it's time to bake bread again. She has really become quite the good bread cook.<br />
<br />
I turned around and headed back home and we picked up the flour.<br />
<br />
We originally left at 10:00 am, and left the second time at 11:10, arriving in Rexburg at 4:00. We unloaded. I worked on Arielle's computer printer, which hasn't worked all semester, and got it working again. We then made a grocery run, with one of Arielle's wonderful roommates, Hailee, where Arielle spent $8.00. After getting the groceries home I left for home, pulling out of the apartment at 6:00 pm.<br />
<br />
I called Jana to let her know I was on my way home. She told me to drive safely and she'd see me in the morning, as she'd be asleep when I got home.<br />
<br />
After a couple short stops I pulled in to our driveway at 12:10 am.<br />
<br />
I tried to be quiet as I tiptoed through the house, putting things away.<br />
<br />
When I got to the bedroom I quietly walked up to the dresser, which is on Jana's side of the bed, and started unloading my pockets. I felt a soft tap on the back of my left leg and turned to see Jana's foot sticking out from the blankets, tapping me a soft welcome home.<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i><b>Loving things</b> aren't usually great big things. They're the little expressions, the quiet connections that speak volumes more than books about love and in a language more eloquent than lyric. They're the sleepy toe taps that tip 'I love you. I'm glad you're home. Good night."</i><br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-81710713274011342032010-04-12T21:27:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:05:22.975-07:00Just Because<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I have mentioned before that in our church we try to take care of each other. We do this by having assigned to us 3 - 6 individuals or families to visit each month just to see how they're doing. We will have a companion assigned to us so we don't go alone.<br />
<br />
This past month I was unable to connect with my companion and couldn't get another to substitute for him so I asked Jana if she would mind going with me to see a couple young women I visit. I gave her <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/in-our-church-men-who-hold-priesthood.html">a little more notice this time</a> and she willingly came with me.<br />
<br />
Jana is a joy to visit people with. She always makes them feel special and important simply by how she gives them her full attention, asks questions and listens intently to their responses. One of our visits was to a wonderful and talented young woman. In the course of the conversation Jana asked her if she had seen a particular movie. The young woman replied, no, she hadn't. Jana immediately said,<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Well, you'd love it. In fact, what are you doing Friday night?"<br />
<br />
"I don't have any plans right now."<br />
<br />
"Then why don't you just come over and we'll pop some popcorn and watch it. Kevin, you can join us if you want."</blockquote><br />
<i>Jana not only shared a <b>loving thing</b> by her willingness to help me in my visits, but also extended her love to a young woman "just because": </i>just because<i> she enjoys getting to know people one-on-one</i><i>; </i>just because<i> she remembers what it's like to be single and alone; </i>just because<i> she's genuinely interested in people</i><i>.</i><br />
<br />
Sounds like a great date night to me.<br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-74102781740193113782010-04-05T22:57:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:04:30.672-07:00Teal Subarus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Thursday was my daughter, Chanel's, birthday. Jana and I had made arrangements to meet her at a restaurant in Boise where we had her birthday dinner.<br />
<br />
After dinner we headed to Chanel's apartment on the other side of town. As we headed toward the freeway Chanel got ahead of us. Jana and I were chatting as we drove along. Suddenly, Jana said, "Hey, Chanel is turning left ahead. You'd better follow her."<br />
<br />
"That doesn't make sense. The freeway is the fastest way to get to her place."<br />
<br />
"Well, she obviously knows the best way to get home so you'd better follow her."<br />
<br />
I dutifully followed Jana's instructions and I pulled into the left turn lane behind Chanel. I couldn't figure out why Chanel would turn away from the freeway. As I sat there looking it seemed to me it really didn't look like Chanel in front of me. The car color was teal, like Chanel's. The driver was wearing sunglasses, like Chanel. Her hair was cut, combed and colored, like Chanel's. But the car was a teal Subaru and not a teal Prism, like Chanel's.<br />
<br />
By now, cars were lined up next to me so I couldn't change lanes. I waited out the light, turned the corner and found a place to turn around. Eventually, we made it to the freeway. By the time we made it to Chanel's apartment, she wondered what took us so long.<br />
<br />
<i>Over our years together I have come to trust Jana's judgment – the <b>loving thing</b> she brings to our partnership. She is a wise woman. I trust her instincts. I trust her ability to see through the superficials of life and zero in on the essentials. For that reason I have made it a habit to act when she suggests action. Only then do I think and reason and consider the suggestion. Every once in a while her suggestion lines us up in the left turn lane behind a teal Subaru. But her judgment is correct so frequently that I have learned the wisest route is to follow her counsel and risk the occasional Subaru.</i><br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-75636274376545016312010-03-29T20:58:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:03:15.125-07:00Salmon-Chanted Evening<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>My Sunday schedules are pretty simple. I"m out the door around 8:00 am, not particularly early, and try to be home by 6:00. Two Sundays a month I continue on until 9:00 pm before getting home. I try to have a good breakfast before leaving in the morning then have a light dinner when I get home.<br />
<br />
Jana celebrates the weekend by often staying up late Saturday night and, since our actual church meetings don't start until 1:00 pm, sleeping in. I'll wake her up to have a morning prayer with her, give her a "morning kiss" (no <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/7-second-steamy-glasses-kiss.html">7-second kisses</a> before 8:00 am) then head out the door.<br />
<br />
At church I will generally see her and give her a squeeze between meetings. "Good morning" I'll offer, a quick kiss and then move on.<br />
<br />
The pattern is just slightly different on the first Sunday of the month which we call "Fast Sunday" – that would be "Fast" as in no eating after dinner Saturday evening until Sunday evening, not "Fast" as in quick.<br />
<br />
Yesterday being Fast Sunday I was hungry by the time I got home but there was purpose behind my fast and there were a number of specific issues on my mind that I was absorbed with. When I got home I went in and gave Jana a hug and told her I was glad to be home. But I didn't linger as I had a number of things yet to follow up on and phone calls that needed to be made before the evening slipped away.<br />
<br />
As I was sitting at my desk making calls Jana slipped in.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I have some salmon thawed. Would you like some?"</blockquote><br />
That sounded wonderful so I said, yes. About 2o minutes later she came back in.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Dinner's ready for you on the table."</blockquote><br />
I finished up and went in and there was a lovely salmon, potato and salad dinner waiting for me. This, I suppose, doesn't sound momentous, but since Jana gets home from church a couple hours before I do we don't have dinner on Sunday evening. When I get home I just fix something light and quick. This was a special expression of love from her, truly a loving thing. It was purely selfless since she had already had dinner a couple hours earlier.<br />
<br />
<i>It just felt like such a sweet kindness and I enjoyed every morsel. Kindness is always romantic. Kindness is always a <b>loving thing</b>. </i><br />
<br />
After my dinner I told Jana I had a "home evening" I wanted to prepare. I brought the laptop computer into the bedroom along with my desktop speakers, plugged them in, then we listened for the next two hours to an interview of Dallin Oaks and his wife, Kristen. What fun to just end the evening together.<br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-27208639362486061932010-03-27T20:47:00.000-07:002010-10-10T01:02:09.423-07:00Kung Pau Camel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>It's been a busy day, capping a busy week. The day started with cleaning the church, followed by a list of projects (including mowing my lawn for the first time this year) that's kept Jana and I moving in asynchronous circles.<br />
<br />
Just before leaving for a baptism service this evening I said to Jana,<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Can we do something tonight?"<br />
<br />
"Yes. What did you have in mind?"<br />
<br />
"How about doing something where we can just talk? I don't feel like we've had any connection time this week."</blockquote><br />
I then suggested the Jade Garden restaurant and she readily agreed. I told her we'd go as soon as I got home.<br />
<br />
When I got home from the baptism Jana was in watching the basketball game between West Virginia and Kentucky that would decide who went to the Final Four of March Madness. (West Virginia, the underdog, ended up winning by 7.) I went straight to the bedroom where I changed clothes. I didn't want to wear a suit and tie but I still wanted to look nice. I put my coat on, grabbed the checkbook and went into the TV room and said,<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I'm ready to go."</blockquote><br />
The significance of my getting ready, including having the keys in hand, is important as, in past history, I have been known to say, "Let's go" then take another 20 minutes changing clothes, shutting house windows and locking doors. That tends to test Jana's patience. So I wanted to be ready to walk out the door before I made my appearance.<br />
<br />
We just prattled on the way to the restaurant. When we got there and got our buffet Chinese meals we sat and prattled some more. About Jana's work. About Chanel's upcoming birthday. About summer vacation. About a slumber party Jana wants to have with Chanel. About the wonderful weekend Jana spent with her sisters last week. About our adventures of the day. About everything. About nothing.<br />
<br />
It took us an hour and a half to just sit and eat and not eat and talk.<br />
<br />
<i>Jana's love language is quality time. That means "being" and "doing" together. No distractions. No other interests. Just the moment and the time. When you think of it, it's really amazing that quality time doesn't really take that much time at all. It takes attentiveness. It takes hearing. It takes sharing. And I find it interesting that such a simple <b>loving thing</b> can so fully replenish our relationship. It's like giving a camel a little time to eat and drink, after which he can go for days with otherwise meager refueling.</i><br />
<br />
Seems to me to be a pretty good investment of time. So, as I sit here this evening, Jana is back in the TV room, now watching the news, and I sit here, jotting down a few lines. And I feel replenished.<br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-36478006603683939042010-03-13T23:57:00.000-08:002010-03-13T23:58:40.012-08:00Something Up My Sleeve<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKKSn97h8oP5aQqBcFvJNYktKvE9AC-syi5JHL8uIa0M0LF6UE7_2wrCYYWmdi-QhSZQkihaYJ9N9uMeQAF_xDT6SXSA-BWJ1IsbVpsLhWlxFpxc7URxvd5RdKRlypG318Qu4MJL2fWeA/s1600-h/hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKKSn97h8oP5aQqBcFvJNYktKvE9AC-syi5JHL8uIa0M0LF6UE7_2wrCYYWmdi-QhSZQkihaYJ9N9uMeQAF_xDT6SXSA-BWJ1IsbVpsLhWlxFpxc7URxvd5RdKRlypG318Qu4MJL2fWeA/s320/hand.jpg" /></a></div>A couple evenings ago I was at the church involved in some meetings. In a break I was in the stake clerk's office and the stake president (my ecclesiastical leader) and I were chatting over some issues involving my congregation.<br />
<br />
I have a tendency to speak with my hands. At one point in our conversation I happened to notice my left hand. There appeared to be something protruding from my sleeve. As I looked down it also caught the attention of the stake president.<br />
<br />
I reached over, capturing it with my fingertips. The conversation stopped as we both watched in curiosity, as if a magician were revealing a silk handkerchief, as I pulled out . . . a dryer sheet. How I managed to put my newly washed shirt on without finding or feeling it I have no idea.<br />
<br />
<i>Even so, in spite of the good laugh we had, it was a sweet reminder of how Jana thoughtfully keeps me supplied with <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-have-magic-drawer.html">clean white shirts</a>, all three of them. I consider it to be a sweet and <b>loving thing</b>. I am so grateful for her care and her loving service.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Note:</b> Jana just interrupted me as she found a spider on the kitchen counter. I don't even need the <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/rules-of-game.html">point</a> she offered. I would think clean white shirts to far exceed any number of spider exterminations.<br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-3578402707138171902010-03-10T09:05:00.000-08:002010-10-10T01:01:15.153-07:00Hard Things Can Be Loving Things Too<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>For my entire adult life I have worked with youth. Through church assignments, Boy Scouting or community involvement my life's work seems to be lifting and building youth. My only qualifications would seem to be that I still have bouts with acne and I still have not fully relinquished my hold on my adolescence.<br />
<br />
Prior to my calling as the bishop of a young single adult congregation I served the youth in my church overseeing the activities and the adult and youth leaders of eight church congregations. I was also serving in the Boy Scouting program as a district leader providing training and support for 238 Scouting units (Cub Scout Packs, Boy Scout Troops, Varsity Teams and Venturing Crews) with a commissioner staff of over 90 volunteers and a "Roundtable" training staff of 12 trainers. Not knowing what the demands would be in my new calling I backed off in my activity with the Scouting program.<br />
<br />
In many ways my focus in my current calling as bishop has simplified my life. It has also given me a great blessing of faith and strength that I could not have foreseen I would need in meeting the needs of energetic, searching, testing, hopeful young single adults as well heart-deep concerns for the evolving dynamics and personal, educational and spiritual struggles of my family.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>However, I still get calls and feel the yearning tugs of purpose-driven desires to contribute to a larger circle of influence using what talents or knowledge I have nurtured over my life. In December I was asked if I would serve as the master of ceremonies for the kick-off assembly for the 100 year anniversary of the Boy Scouting movement to be conducted on the state capitol steps the first Saturday in February. I called on long-time friend, Lawrence Wasden, Attorney General of the State of Idaho, to address the crowd of uniformed Boy Scouts and their leaders that spilled out into the road in front of the capitol building. The event was a success and the warm expressions of appreciation were self-satisfying.<br />
<br />
Recently, a friend in the stake or region in which I live had asked if I'd help with training for the leaders of 11-year-old boys. It would not be a huge affair but would entail a Friday evening and Saturday morning commitment with marginal preparation on my part. I would love to. But before doing so my personal commitment to Jana is to discuss it with her to gain her support and request her feedback. <br />
<br />
I asked Jana over breakfast this morning. It is easy to read Jana's opinions at times. Being a drama major for her Associates Degree, she doesn't tend to hide her feelings. But her verbal response was brief.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Once they hear you are available for Scouting programs again the phone won't stop ringing."</blockquote><br />
As I had brought the subject up at the conclusion of breakfast, this was Jana's only comment before her getting up to finish getting ready for work.<br />
<br />
I sat and finished my breakfast, torn a bit between two priorities: my life's purpose in working with youth and my eternal purpose in building a celestial relationship with Jana. In black and white the decision seems obvious. But, when you mix it with the feelings of emotion and satisfaction and purpose and contribution and praise and pride, it becomes a little harder to balance. Life's decisions are not always between good and bad. In fact, I believe the defining decisions that will make the greatest eternal difference will be the decisions between good and good. They will be the decisions that not only reveal our hearts, but our <i>true</i> desires.<br />
<br />
As Jana readied herself for work I didn't feel I understood her real core position. I knew the "what", but I didn't know the "why". As I continued to sit, finishing my breakfast (I'm a slow breakfast finisher) she came back in and sat down.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"When are you going to get the computers sold? When are you going to get the dozen things done you say you need to in order to get our business on solid ground? When will you find the time to help me with the few things <i>I</i> need, like the visual aids for my Relief Society speech?<br />
<br />
"To me, your extracurricular activities mean distraction, postponing other needed things; it means time taken away from your work; it means competition for your attention.<br />
<br />
"The bishopric means focus; it means balance; it means peace."<br />
<br />
"You can choose if you want to help out with that program, but once people learn you are available the calls won't stop."</blockquote><br />
Now I knew the "why" – the core-deep perceptions that I <i>needed</i> to know. The "whats" give us a <i>position</i>. The "whys" give us <i>meaning</i>.<br />
<br />
A number of years ago I needed to make a business decision whether or not to hire a young man. I went back and forth in my mind, trying to justify the expense, the risk, and the dynamic changes it would necessitate. In the course of my decision making I decided to fast and then went to a place I consider sacred; a place where I could get the insight, the inspiration I needed to make a decision.<br />
<br />
I thought long and hard on the matter but soon found a peace settle over me, absorbing the spirit of the experience. It was then, when my mind was calmed and not pushing, that the clear revelation came.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Kevin, the 'right' decision is the one you and Jana make <i>together.</i> The actual <i>decision</i> isn't important; the important thing is <i>how you make it</i>."</blockquote><br />
<i>Sometimes <b>loving things</b> are hard things. I needed to know Jana's "whys". I needed to see her perspective; to see the issue through her eyes. If I had fixated on the "what" I could very easily become defensive and missed the quiet "I love you" hidden in the "why".</i><br />
<br />
I have absolute faith in Jana's love for me; in her desire that our relationship continue to grow, not only in time, but through eternity. If I can just manage to keep that faith – no, by now in our relationship I guess it's no longer faith; time and experience have turned my <i>faith</i> in her love into a <i>sure knowledge</i> – if I can just manage to keep that <i><b>fact</b></i><b> </b>fixed in my heart I know I will have the power and the purpose to listen carefully and choose well.<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #666666;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photos courtesy the Idaho Statesman</span></i></div><div style="color: #666666;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">http://www.idahostatesman.com/2010/02/09/1073054/scouts-throw-a-birthday-party.html </span></i></div><br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span><i> </i><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6299725078245917163.post-59520184506472437392010-03-09T21:18:00.000-08:002010-03-10T09:17:21.656-08:00Shoe Strings and Frozen Beans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguTI6S06w73opFYqO3vB-e-hDJr6urudpEm2yYpzTo_y7oXV7IU46_lHroirlZhOOcXT4CTKPWJkwe-ULo0j3j3ZBko1LG8BjZrAc9-m09TU3aqEBVFLe1tLEnUkJ9u-gOWBxZqQYW_uM/s1600-h/DrScholls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguTI6S06w73opFYqO3vB-e-hDJr6urudpEm2yYpzTo_y7oXV7IU46_lHroirlZhOOcXT4CTKPWJkwe-ULo0j3j3ZBko1LG8BjZrAc9-m09TU3aqEBVFLe1tLEnUkJ9u-gOWBxZqQYW_uM/s320/DrScholls.jpg" /></a></div>Saturdays seem to be a premium around here. With life being what it is it seems I get about two Saturdays a month to actually get things done on my personal list. Everything has a season and I suppose the day will come when I wish I had something someone wanted me to do on a Saturday. But for now, they're a little rare.<br />
<br />
Of late Jana has been complaining of foot pain from her daily walking exercise. Actually it's not from her walking; that actually takes her mind off the foot pain. But her feet have been hurting her. During the week I saw an ad in the newspaper from Big 5 Sporting Goods that had some walking shoes by Dr. Scholl's, a company known for its footcare products. (A not so terribly interesting aside: when Jana and I were dating, my first post-mission job was at Big 5 Sporting Goods in California.)<br />
<br />
Saturday morning I suggested we have a morning date so after she had showered we headed off for Big 5. It is nearly legendary how little Jana likes shopping, but she was excited that morning.<br />
<br />
Before we headed to the sporting goods store we made a stop at "Cash 'n Carry", a restaurant grocery supply store that we like to shop at periodically. This stop was just for me. We went to buy some frozen vegetables, which I eat a lot of. For $8 we were able to buy two week's of vegetables. (Did I mention our food budget has dramatically dropped since Arielle went to school?)<br />
<br />
We got to the store and found the sale shoes. They were regularly $70 and were on sale for $29.95. At first we were concerned as they didn't have what Jana thought was her size. She went ahead and tried on a pair that were half a size larger than she thought she was, but they fit like Cinderella's glass slippers.<br />
<br />
At my insistence she walked around the store for awhile to make sure they didn't have any sore spots (she just wanted to buy 'n go). Then we bought them. The shoes she's been wearing are athletic shoes she bought with my son's help about 12 years ago. By now the support is shot.<br />
<br />
After we got home Jana put them on and wore them around the house as she went about her chores. Later that afternoon she headed for the Rec Center for her 8 lap walk. When she came home she pronounced the shoe-shopping date a success.<br />
<br />
<i>I'm finding I love spending time with Jana – doing just normal, unhurried things – more and more all the time. Her love language is "Quality Time". As we headed home from Big 5 she said, "This qualifies as 'love'. Definitely <a href="http://365lovingthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/rules-of-game.html">three points</a>." Quality Time = a <b>loving thing</b>. For both of us.</i><br />
<br />
____________________<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.</span></span><i> </i><i> </i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0