Still A Smile in Her Voice After 6:00

Jana grew up with a father who had more peas on his knife than could possibly be swallowed.  She grew up feeling that everything else in his life was more important than her – primarily his work (as a self-employed, one-man chicken farmer) and his church service (as bishop then stake president over a multitude of Mormon congregations in southwest Idaho).  She drew a distinction in his need to provide a living for his family but grew to resent feeling orphaned by his church service.

"When deciding on the qualities I wanted in a husband," she later recounted, "I wanted to marry a man who was kind, lived his religion, honored his priesthood, but would never be a bishop."

After 31 years of marriage I was called to serve as a bishop over a young single adult ward.

The Mormon church does not have a paid ministry.  We all serve in the church when asked or "called" by our priesthood leadership.  We do not seek positions, we do not aspire to callings, we do not apply for station, we do not campaign for office.  We also do not turn down opportunities to serve each other, in whatever capacity and for whatever duration we are called.

I can not begin to explain the depths to which Jana had to reach to find the faith, or at least a glimmer of hope, to support me in this new calling.  The little girl who felt so neglected, unloved and unvalued reemerged, her insecurities and loneliness almost overpowering her.  This was truly a trial of her faith.

I can't say my own history in our marriage has been that much of a solace for her.  I have displayed a tendency to grasp hold of "extra curricular" service, be it Boy Scouts, church callings or a fatherless boy, and spread my time as thinly as a child trying to make a sandwich out of the last scrapings from the peanut butter jar.  Jana didn't have much to build her hope on.  Even so, like the widow's mite, she gave "all her living" to the hope that somehow she would not be lost or forgotten or ignored in my press to magnify my calling and serve those I had been called to shepherd.

As time has rolled on an unexpected "tender mercy" has unfolded.  My call has somehow simplified my life, or at least my thoughts, and has focused me.  It has slowed me down and given me far greater appreciation for Jana, for her strength, for her wisdom, for her patience and for the secure calm that lies at the core of our relationship.

As we began this new journey a year and a half ago, I committed to be home on Sunday evenings by 6:00 with my attention turned to home.  I have not perfected that commitment yet but my success rate continues to improve.

This time of year I am in the middle of the annual end of year "tithing settlement" where I meet with each member of the ward in the course of one month's time in one-on-one interviews.  It is a wonderful, enriching experience as I connect with each member of my ward and simply listen.  The interview's are short but sometimes the course of the conversations require a few extra minutes to allow for individual needs.

Tonight, after having left the house this morning before she was up and after only seeing Jana once across a classroom in one of our meetings, I finished my last interview of the day at about 6:05.  I called Jana to let her know I was finished and was heading home.

With the cheerful lilt to her voice that reveals her native happy personality which I've come to love over the course of 33 years, she replied, "OK. I'll see you in a few minutes."

The melody of her voice and the simplicity and ordinariness of her response belied the arduous journey that has brought her to this place.  Having a knowledge of that journey, what I heard was an ocean-deep loving thing that ripples through my heart and reminds me how blessed I am.
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IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.