However, during this visit she needs some "get away" time; time to back off and catch some perspective on her personal life. She's had a relationship this semester that's been left a little in limbo that she needs some space to process.
After church today Jana invited a friend over who is particularly gifted at helping people gain perspective. Even though Jana and I have talked with our daughter over the phone over the past few weeks on the issue, and even though we had a good conversation together last night (at the moment she feels safe enough in our relationships to talk to us about these issues openly) Jana felt she needed another perspective to give her peace.
After dinner I was starting on the dishes (I still do dishes by hand, old school) and "the girls" had settled in the living room and were chatting. As I stood at the sink up to my elbows in Joy dish soap, Jana came in and gave me an unsolicited hug. That's always nice. Then she whispered, "We've got some girl talk going on."
To quote A. A. Milne in talking about Winnie the Pooh, "Being a bear of very little brain...", I thought for just a moment, then the light came on, "Oh, you'd like for me not to join you?"
"Yes," she replied lovingly.
I"m the kind of dad who, being interested in his kids lives, would have invited myself to join them after I finished the dishes -- "girl talk" doesn't frighten or bore me. But thanks to Jana's awareness and sensitivity, she quietly, discretely gave me a gentle suggestion that space was needed.
I consider it a loving thing when she just gently let me know what was needed. Otherwise I would have felt rejected and devalued for being left out or unwanted in this little piece of my daughter's life. I'm thankful for my wife's sensitive awareness. Now I can write it down and feel loved in the process.
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That was a loving thing! Sometimes our men need a little "directing."
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