It Takes Two To Be A Bishop

Tonight was Family Home Evening with our singles.  It was movie night down at the church. I was running late as I had an emergency with a client that I had to get done before I could leave home.  That made me late for an appointment with a young woman.

I decided to take advantage of the chance of going to Family Home Evening with Jana.  I generally go alone early because I have people to meet.  But tonight I wanted to go with Jana and sit and eat popcorn and laugh and make fun of the movie, whatever it was.

My appointment ran long as that's what was needed.  We finished at about 8:30 and I thought,"Good. Now I can go join Jana and the rest of the kids."  I put on my coat.  But as I walked out the door my Relief Society president was in the clerk's office with another young woman.

"Bishop, do you have a minute?"

I walked into the clerk's office and chatted with her and the young woman and then she said, "Well, I'll see you later, Harriet (not her real name, although I did have a Harriet give me some massage therapy at my chiropractor's office this morning, but that's another story)."  Then as she disappeared around the door she mouthed to me, "Thank you."

I invited the young woman in and took off my coat.

This is a farily common occurrence on Monday evening at the church.  And for this young woman there was a real and immediate need.  I tell my ward members not to worry when they unload their burdens in my office.  "Dump everything right here.  We'll sort through it together.  And don't worry about the mess: the angels clean my office every night and throw away all the junk so you don't have to carry it around with you."

At about 9:30 I heard a knock at the door.  I answered it, knowing it would be Jana.  Sure enough.

"Is the movie over?" I asked.

"Yes, and I'm the last one here."

"Give me just a few minutes."

and I closed the door.  My visitor wasn't quite finished yet so I helped her come to an action step – something to work on.  Then, as I stood up to walk her to the door, I was prompted to ask, "Would you like a blessing?"

"Oh, yes. I really would."

So I slowed down and took a moment, hoping Jana would be all right waiting a moment longer.  It took a moment to connect but then the thoughts and inspiration came.  After the "Amen" I walked her to the door and said good night, then returned to put my coat on again.  I found Jana in the foyer talking to a young man in our congregation.  He's a wonderful young man, one I really admire and love being around.  They were just talking.  I noticed a light on down the hall and excused myself to go and make a quick sweep of the building to make sure it was locked up and lights were out.

I then returned and we all headed out.

Jana didn't express any impatience or question what took so long.  She just told me about her conversation with the young man.  Jana is so good talking with people one-on-one and getting them to share themselves.  Certainly her patience, in spite of her abandonment issues, was a loving thing for me.  But she was also expressing a loving thing in visiting with the young man who just needed a moment to open up and share some questions he has and some decisions he's trying to make.  

I've come to realize it takes two to be a bishop.  This calling is her's as well as mine.  It's a team effort.  Through it we'll both learn and grow. I think that's the point. 

I thought about the needs of those I visited with tonight, as well as those of quite a few others, as we pulled into the driveway. I turned off the key.

"Thank you so much for a calm and secure home."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the steady place we are in our relationship at the moment.  I really need that certainty when I walk in our door so I have the solid footing I need to lift others."

 And that's what Jana does.  She provides a calm, happy, secure home that allows us both to grow; a place where we and those who enter here can find respite from the rain.
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