After the 'Thank You'

Last night was a late night.  I stayed up until after 2:00 trying to finish a project I've been working on for a couple weeks that I just needed to get out.  After having been up until 2:30 the night before I was a worn out when I dragged myself to bed.

This morning I never heard Jana get up, shower or get ready for work.  We always have breakfast together but this morning I slept right through it.

When I finally awoke she was already gone to work.  I got up, said, "Forget the Rec Center", showered, had breakfast and went to work.  My first item of business?  Send Jana an email:

Sorry I missed you this morning.  But I did get the booklet finished at 2 this morning.  Anyway,  I love you.  Can I join you for lunch?  Kevin

Her reply?

Yes, I would love that.

When my alarm went off (I have to set a computer alarm to catch my attention when I have an appointment, otherwise I get busy and time just ceases to exist) I fixed my lunch and headed for the hospital where Jana works.

I walked in her door just as she was walking out.  We headed for the hospital cafeteria.  We just chatted about what we had each been doing this morning and why a check in the checkbook had been added to the checking balance rather than being subtracted (creating a $400 unexpected shortage) and confirming that it had been fixed.

All too soon the half hour was over and it was time to walk back to the outside building where Jana's office is.  As I walked her to the door she said,

Thank you for coming for lunch.  It really means a lot.

With that loving comment I was transported back 33 years to the conclusion of our first date.  I was a green returned missionary, still very uncomfortable with dating.  Jana was a recent college graduate in her first career job.  I felt so young by comparison and figured she was so worldly wise.

I was especially concerned about walking her to her apartment door after our date, figuring she was so experienced in the ways of romantic protocol.  Do I kiss her (on the first date)?  Do I just say "Thank you for a wonderful evening?"  Do I shake her hand (with which I was the most comfortable after two years as a missionary, keeping young women at arms length)?

Additionally, was there the prospect of a second date?  I liked her and definitely wanted another date.  But how would I know if she did?  Like many men, my confidence when it came to relationships, was a bit fragile.  It had taken four explicit encouragements from friends the night before to finally get me to risk actually calling her and asking her out, even though I had been looking for signs that she might be interested for nearly two months.

Jana eased the tension and reinforced my confidence.

Thank you for a wonderful evening.  Will you ask me out again?

There are those that might scoff at this whole dilemma and my need for reassurance.  But Jana's inspired "Will you ask me out again?" answered all my unasked questions.  It was the question that would determine our combined future.

As I left her at the office door this afternoon, it was, once again, the underscoring assertion after the "thank you" – the added "it really means a lot" – that gave meaning to the message.  The truly loving thing when expressing gratitude just may be the underscoring assertion after the "thank you", for that is the thing that will be remembered and that just may make all the difference.

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IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO COMMENT ON ONE OF THE LOVING THINGS, SMALL OR GRAND, THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU.